bobnease
What I was going for:
Economical. Show, don't tell. No inner dialog. No explanations.
"Hey, so thanks for the loaner while you were gone. Really appreciate that." They were standing in Ray's driveway. Two mockingbirds took turns diving at the neighbor's cat. "Sure. Happy to do it." Jimmy fingered his giant silver belt buckle. "One thing, the visibility isn't as good as what I'm used to and there was a ding from a post I hit." Ray's breath hitched. Jimmy put his hand on Ray's shoulder. "Hey, so no worries, man." He squeezed and smiled. "I did you a solid. Had it hammered out and spot painted. Like new." Ray went around to the other side and saw the shiny part of the panel. "Better than new, right? Also, you might want to have someone take a look at your belts. One of them is squeaking like a mother effer. Dallas, my wife's brother --" "Your brother-in-law." "Yeah, I guess so. Anyway he's got a shop down Bellflower and if you want to bring it there I can see about a discount." "Thanks," Ray said. "Okay hey, so, yeah, gotta go. Thanks again, bud. Lifesaver." Jimmy landed two hard pats on Ray's back before he left. He walked down Rosecrans towards Woodruff. At Dunrobin, he waved without turning around and kept walking.